After travelling around Italy for a month this year, I wrote a letter to myself with some key points I had learnt and desperately wanted to remember. It is easy to slip into sludgy forgetfulness, to fall into the squeaking mouse run of the every day where the magic warmth of Tuscany fades from your heart, where over ruby red wine and tomatoes that popped on my tongue, mouth glistening from the oil of salty olives, I had thought about what was important to me. I recently found my letter, written on a train in rural Toscana, a mix mash of quotes and things I had been told and bits I had read and mused over, and re-reading it filled me again with that feeling of pulsing purpose and heady optimism I had felt at that time. I am sharing it with you, in honesty. And yes, some bits may sound particularly pompous, (every time someone says ‘universe’ it can come across dipped and sprayed in dream catchers and unicorn dust, enough for any ironic soul to wrinkle their nose in earnest-allergy fuelled disgust) but I’m gonna do it anyways.
Validate your emotions, feel it, then decide. We have the ability to choose. So choose your love, and love your choice. We can choose how we react, choose how we feel, and choose what we do. Life is fucking wonderful. You open yourself to the universe and it opens itself to you. Decide what you truly want and it will manifest itself to you. You know what you need, and when you don’t, the universe does. ADD VALUE. You will add wealth to every part of your life by adding value to things. You will add more friends by being your most natural, energetic, magnetic self. You will add to your karma and emotional holistic spectrum by adding value to others lives. Do not be a micro-manager, but instead choose to care and prioritise the things that you MUST rather then the things that you SHOULD. Drop the word should from your vocabulary and you will drop the guilt.
Find meaning and arm and empower yourself with that story, then use that meaning and value to empower others. Drop the toxic, forget the bullshit and the games, be kind, be perceptive, be true. If it’s not a fuck yes! then it is a no. To add wealth, it is 80 per cent psychology, 20 per cent strategy. Wealth is important as it allows you the life you want. But wealth isn’t necessarily money. Be rich in what brings you happiness, and you will again be paying dividends. By looking after yourself, you are then in a better situation to look after others. Self love and care is not selfish – they are integral to being your authentic self (for want of a less wanky word) and allowing you to love others more fully. Be GRATEFUL. Gratitude is at the heart of honesty. You see all you have to be grateful for and that is a perspective you need everyday, to not get bogged down in the stuff that isn’t worth it. I truly believe gratitude is a big key to happiness. It gives you space from your problems, as you see the bigger picture. There is more to your life then the one issue clogging up your vision right now. Look at the periphery; a beautiful family, a loving friend, a faithful dog, a gorgeous day, a deep lungful of air, a nice cup of coffee, a smile from a stranger. All things to be looked for.
‘Not bad’ is not enough! Be awesome! YOU ARE NOT YOUR DNA. Don’t let your family history define you – your past life, or your ancestors choices, are not yours right now, today. Own up to your mistakes, say sorry, mean it. That gives you a totally clean slate to work from and a far less guilty load to carry. Be kind to yourself, for you are pretty wonderful and no one will like you as much as you should.
And if this is all getting a bit much, do as novelist Robert Louis Stevenson cheerily says; “Our business in this world is not to succeed, but to continue to fail, in good spirits.”
I think that is enough self-affirmation today. What do you guys tell yourself every day?
For more tips on being your best you, check out what Jessica likes to do. Jessica may or may not be the best human in the world.
(I truly do this before interviews and also sometimes just because.)